Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
