People in love make me want to vomit
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A+ Viking dick
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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