Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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