capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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