mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
