dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
