We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
