It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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