i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
