I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
