Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
