Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize