I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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