So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
