He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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