The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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