Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
