You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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