He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
