You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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