im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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