We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
