My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
