Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
