I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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