thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
