He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You took a bar mat shot.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
