But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have already put on my inside pants.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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