haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
