Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
