theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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