new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
