Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My dick has a subreddit
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize