Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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