There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
