Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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