Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
