just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
