I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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