i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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