I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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