I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
