you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
