I looked at my own cervix.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
