I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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