When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
