if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
