The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
