toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize