my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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