My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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