I think I died a long time ago.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
