is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it was like eating out sand paper
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My ass is underappreciated
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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