that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
