i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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