sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
