Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
