David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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