Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
