dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
