btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
