You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
