what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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