Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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